MOTHS GET IN YOUR EARS and SO THE NEW NORMAL IS GLOBAL EXTINCTION

MOTHS GET IN YOUR EARS

You may recall - or you may not, the choice is entirely yours - that I posted a short message entitled Head-butted by a Bee not that long ago (only 2 and a bit years ago as I write this). You will be intrigued to know, I am sure, that my confrontational relationship with Hymenoptera has now extended to Lepidoptera. Not a deliberate policy I assure you, for I am a victim of circumstance in this unsought conflict.

How did this gothic drama take place, I hear you ask? Actually I don't hear much at all at present, as I have a recurring ear infection caused by the use of my hearing aid and which promotes a partial deafness. If only I'd been wearing the hearing aid on this occasion, it might have provided protection from lepidopteran assault. I should add that moths - for that is the form of which I speak - are wily in their attacks. 

Under the cover of darkness as I left the house to check if the bonfire was properly extinguished, this ferocious moth swooped from above in kamikaze fashion straight into my ear, where it fluttered impotently for a few brief seconds until my panic subsided enough for me to launch a counter-attack. With great presence of mind I wrestled the offending creature to the ground, from where it flew away in cowardly fashion. At least I think it did; it was too dark to see very much at all.

Of course, it is possible that the moth was interrupted by my ear blocking its flightpath, and it had not the wit or inclination to take avoiding action. I trust it will exercise more care in future. Now for a song ...

MOTHS GET IN YOUR EARS

(Sung to the tune of “Smoke gets in your eyes”)

They asked me how I knew

What I thought was true

I of course replied

Something here inside cannot be denied.

They said "someday you'll find 

In the dark you’re blind"

I thought I’d risk my fears,

It brought me close to tears, 

For moths get in your ears.

So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed

To think they could doubt my tale

Yet today my hearing’s gone away,

I cannot hear a sound.

Now laughing friends deride,

Fears I cannot hide

So I wince and say

While dabbing at the tears, 

Moths get in your ears

Moths get in your ears

_______

SO THE NEW NORMAL IS GLOBAL EXTINCTION

Let me get this right. According to Sir David Attenborough - who must be the Bionic Man, such is his incredible performance in his nineties - we are all doomed to war, death, pestilence and famine, unless we take action fifty years ago; and even if we had, we are all in for a very unpleasant time from now on. I'm sure that rampaging hordes of killer moths must fit in to that scenario somewhere. Lepidoptera, the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse? That is about the gist of it really.